So true, isn't it? We really are shuffled into the rat race at such a young age, reminded constantly that each exam we pass, each grade we finish, each commencement ceremony we attend, is merely a step toward obtaining our dream life. And this becomes such an ingrained piece of our psyche that we look back and suddenly all of those years spent preparing for the future seem like one big blur.
Well, maybe we didn't all experience that, but I sure did.
I told myself throughout high school and college that if I wasn't happy then, well, it's OK, because once I have my Master's degree and teaching license I will have arrived. It all seemed like some shining mecca in my future, a place where I'd wake up every morning and feel confident, at peace, and like I knew exactly what I was doing. Well, I have those pieces of paper now, and here's the thing: I'm still the same person I was all along, complete with all of my fears and insecurities and baggage. I've reached that shining mecca, and come to the realization that all the credentials in the world won't make life any less complicated.
Because now... The real work begins. The painstaking résumé revisions. The terrifying job search process. The anxiety-provoking interviews. And if I'm lucky, the day-to-day stress of managing a classroom of students and getting through to each and every one of them and being evaluated on a high-stakes and regular basis.
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| The sad reality of my future career? Yikes. |
Don't get me wrong -- I still want to be a teacher. I've wanted to be a teacher for almost as long as I can remember, and I firmly believe that despite the stress, teaching will be fulfilling and rewarding for me. And let's be real -- some amount of stress would be an inevitability of any job worth having. I'm just no longer naïve enough to think that obtaining anything - a job, a husband, a baby, a flatter stomach, etc. - will suddenly flip a switch, bring everything into focus, and give me that perfect dream life I always assumed was on the horizon. Life is messy, unpredictable, and scary - regardless of where you are in your life - but it is certainly punctuated with beautiful moments. What I've learned is that if you're constantly waiting for some event or person or piece of paper to change your life, you'll be disappointed, disillusioned, and miss out on all of the wonderful things that happen along the way. I wish I knew long ago that the best way to ensure happiness for myself was to live mindfully and savor the process, instead of wishing that I could get it over with and get on with my life. What I failed to comprehend at the time was that every imperfect day I was living... That was - and is - my life.
I hope that I can find some way to teach that to my students.
That's a great little video, thank you for sharing it. I can totally relate to what you are saying. Every time I get to where I think I want to be, it's not quite right, there's always something else. I am slowly learning about mindfulness and putting it into practice. I am starting to think it is one of the best things one can do for one's self.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree! I read a book awhile ago on mindfulness and kept thinking, wow, this is good stuff. Like life-changing stuff. It's a challenge to put into practice but I definitely think it's worth the effort. Thanks for commenting!
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