Taming the Elephant

Robert Pattinson & Reese Witherspoon with the real star of Water for Elephants: Tai, the beautiful Asian elephant!

Read an interesting article on WebMD today called "Choosing to be Happy -- Strategies for Happiness: 7 Steps to Becoming a Happier Person."  Sometimes I think WebMD articles can be a bit bland, but this one was actually pretty insightful -- and featured a psychologist from my very own alma mater, UVa!  Basically, the premise of the article is that - despite the oft-repeated adage that happiness is like a butterfly that will "come and sit softly on your shoulder" if you stop chasing it - happiness is better described as a goal that some of us can only achieve if we actively make it a priority in our lives.  Here are the main points of the article, not all of which are no-brainers:

1. Each of us has a baseline level of happiness, which means that some people are naturally happier than others.  All is not lost, however, because despite a low level of innate happiness, each of us has the power to raise our happiness level if we're willing to put in a little work.

2. Once you've set an intention to be happy, it's a good idea to start thinking more about what you're grateful for.  Cultivating an attitude of gratitude has been shown to be a powerful anti-depressant.

3. Stop ruminating!  Rumination - which I think of as an automatic cycle of bad thoughts - is described in the article as the "mental health bad boy."  One way to quell rumination is to force yourself to stop holding grudges and to actively try to become a more forgiving person.

4. Remind yourself that money/material possessions will NOT make you happy.  You'd think this one is obvious, but during particularly unhappy and stressful periods of my life I have often been obsessed with buying anything and everything -- because I think at a subconscious level I assumed that acquiring new things would make me feel better.  Self-medicating at its most expensive and credit-hurting.

5. Take time to strengthen old friendships and foster new ones.  Close friendships have been shown to be one of the very best antidotes to depression.  It always amazes me that despite my initial resistance toward being social - and having to overcome that ever-persistent inertia - when I get together with close friends I almost always leave feeling 10x happier than I was when I got there. 

6. Engage in meaningful activities, otherwise known as "active leisure" (i.e. NOT watching TV).   This is a tough one for me.  I've spent sooo much time napping/mindlessly internet-ing over the years I sometimes feels like I've forgotten what really makes me tick, what makes me feel like I'm "in the flow."  According to the article, it is important to cultivate these activities.

7. My favorite, courtesy of UVa professor Jon Haidt: Think of controlling your mind as riding an elephant.  The elephant represents the extremely powerful thoughts and feelings that drive your behavior.  Although you are much smaller and weaker than the elephant, it is still within your power to control it -- if you train it well.  You can learn to control your mind - and more importantly, your depression - by first becoming keenly aware of your thoughts, which are surprisingly often on auto-pilot.  The article recommends practicing meditation or yoga to help you become more in-touch with your thoughts.  Then, once you become better at identifying negative thoughts - which can quickly spiral out of control into destructive rumination - you can challenge and counteract them, nipping them in the bud.  I've done a little work with this in the past, and I truly think it's an incredibly powerful way to lift your mood on a continual basis.

Now, all of this is certainly easier said than done, but I think the article does a good job of providing starting points for achieving each of these steps toward happiness.  Although this is only the most current wave of thought regarding happiness, I tend to agree with everything that was said here.  I've said it before and I'll say it again: Anyone who struggles regularly with depression will only find happiness through action.